Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
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i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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