it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
