and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
