He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
