well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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