I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Let's get the cat blown out
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
