i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Someone shattered a urinal.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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