im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
