Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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