whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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