Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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