This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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