Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
