My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize