He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
