You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
