I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
