I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
They took my balls.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
