Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
