yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
