SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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