so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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