yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
