i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
