I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
