so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
