I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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