hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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