Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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