She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
