Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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