5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We had sex on a dog bed..
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
not ubering you a puppy
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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