I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
