Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
