He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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