I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
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He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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