Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
