Whod you bang
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
