im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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