i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
