this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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