we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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