we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
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Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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