Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you have to choose: penises or morals?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize