Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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