They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
