we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
