I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We need to get me chipped asap
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
