I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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