btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize