Betty ford says i'm here all night
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize