so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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