Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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