I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
