If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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