5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
