windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
