He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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